Scary, Difficult, and Hard: The Price of Everything You Want

At the Confidence Summit, I heard Evan Carmichael make a point that I haven't been able to shake: everything we want is on the other side of something scary, difficult, or hard. We can't get to our goals and dreams unless we take action in spite of those three words.

I ran that sentence through my own life to see if it was true, and guess what? I found all three.

THE SCARY PART

After decades of working a nine-to-five, I quit a well-paying stable job to start my own coaching business. No guaranteed paycheck. No certainty I could cover my expenses. That was the scary part, purely financial.

But here's what surprises me when I look back: I wasn't afraid of failing. I was certain this was God's plan for me, and that He would take care of making it work. What actually scared me was the shift itself, going from decades of a steady check to suddenly being a business owner. Having to be creative. Having to learn technology I'd never touched. It was intimidating.

However, on the other side of that scary decision, I found my purpose: to live out my faith in service to others, teaching and empowering them toward greater success and joy in both sport and life.

I see that purpose in action every time I witness a client transformation. A move from self-doubt to confidence. From buckling under pressure to maintaining focus when the stakes are high. From burnout and frustration to regaining their love for the game. I keep what I call a kudos file that contains texts, emails, and reviews clients have sent me with their wins, big and small, to remind myself I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. All of those success stories were waiting for me on the other side of scary.

THE DIFFICULT PART

Once I was in business for myself, difficult showed up as technology. Learning new systems, managing tools I'd never imagine existed, building the infrastructure a coaching business actually runs on. Technology is such a blessing, but I also found it to be a source of serious frustration, especially in the learning stages. It was genuinely hard to work through.

The payoff came in the form of systems that make it all work. Like client portals, individual spaces where each client has lifetime access to their Meet recordings, resources, and next steps in one place. Being able to give my students the best experience, save me real time, and allow me to take on more, that's the satisfaction that sits on the other side of difficult.

THE HARD PART

For hard, I go back to my competitive roping career. I was working a demanding job fifty to sixty hours a week, running home after a long day to hook up the trailer, load my horses and get to practice. Roping the dummy every day, rain or shine or snow. Long drives on weekends, usually by myself, to get to a jackpot. I didn't take days off. I even brought my dummy with me on camping trips so I wouldn't miss a single practice.

What kept me going was simple: I loved the sport, and I wanted to keep improving, so I could be the best I could be with the resources I had.

On the other side of that hard work came many wins, including the biggest one of my career: from the high call position in the #7 at the World Series of Team Roping Finale.

YOUR TURN

Think of something in your life you're genuinely proud of. Now ask yourself honestly: was getting there scary, difficult, or hard?

Whatever stands between you and what you want right now is most definitely scary, difficult, or hard. But now you realize that those words are not a stop sign. They are the price of admission. Pay it.

If you're standing on the edge of your own scary, difficult, or hard right now, that's exactly the work we do together in coaching — helping you take the action anyway. Listen to the full conversation on this on the Cowgirl Up podcast, or book a free discovery call, and let's talk about what's on the other side for you.

Mental performance training is NOT intended as, nor is it a substitute for, mental health care.

Laurie Blickenstaff is a Certified Mental Performance Coach, competitive team roper, and World Series of Team Roping champion. She's the founder of Mental Game 101 and host of the Cowgirl Up podcast, helping timed event competitors build the mental skills to perform with consistency, confidence, and joy.